The complicated language of adoption

TL;DR - If you see an adopted family, don't stare. If you know an adopted family, feel comfortable to ask questions.

I am inspired by Simone Biles. Her athleticism is a amazing. But her laugh makes me smile ever time. If you have not seen it, watch this clip and try not to smile when she says ".... so I am the only one that does it." link

You have all heard her family story at this point and have seen her lovely parents cheering her on from Rio. You have probably also heard Al Trautwig unfortunately comments\tweets on adoption. As a birth mom and adopted mom (as well as a step mom for good measure), I want to take this opportunity to say :

1. I did nothing heroic adopting my son. We are not saints, we just wanted a kid.
2. I did nothing heroic placing my daughter for adoption. Abortion was never an option in my mind. I had the support to raiser her but I also knew I want to get back to school 
3. My son struggles with being adopted in full view of the world. If it was him, he would prefer NBC focus on the rest of his story and not the adoption. 
4. My daughter and her husband have found room for my family and her birth father's family while not taking anything away from their parents. I hope some day we can show the same love to Shauntell and her family.

Adoptions are complicated. We do not have good language to talk about them. While they lend themselves to simple stories, they rarely are. 

And now some music  from Sara Bareilles "Love Song"

How to Mentor

TL;DR - You should volunteer to mentor me, especially in anything to do with programming

Dear Jeff,
Thank you for asking me for advice on how to be a mentor and what makes a good mentor. I am flattered you would reach out to me so directly. [link]

I've been on both sides of great mentoring relationships. Here is some advice:

1. Have regular calls or meetings to force the relationship. Keep your own internal notes to prep for the next call. I like once a quarter, but monthly works too.  
2. Provide two or three questions to your protege before the call in case 'they have no topics'. Even if you don't talk about the questions, it primes the pump for other conversations. 
3. Be their advocate, be their sponsor, be their mentor. 
4. Have fun. (This is the hardest one for me)
5. Watch Susan Colantuono's "The career advice you probably didn't get" [link]
6. Look for cross mentoring opportunities. I currently* have a mentor relationship with a technical peer. They help me with technology questions. I help them with management questions. (Ironically, it started to naturally wane at about the 12 month mark. Now we act more like BFFs )
7. Think about your replacement. I like to mentor someone for 12 to 18 months and then look to connect them with one of my peers who can help in other areas.

 I hope this short list helped you as you begin your role as mentor. Please let me know if you have any questions or additional advice for me.

Cheers,
Ginny

PS>  If you have read my blog you know I always like to end with music. In honor of your home state here is Josh Berwanger Band 'Mary'