On being 'woke'

"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

I have no memory of how Deray Mckesson crossed my twitter feed. I should know him through Black Lives Matter, Ferguson and now Campaign Zero. DeRay catches my eye each time he posts "I love my blackness. And yours." I smile at how much my son loves his blackness and how much I agree.

From January 20, 2015 Twitter Post 

On an appearance on Stephen Cobert, Mckesson mentioned being "woke". The word embodied a concept I've been wrestling with for the last 12 years. How do you acknowledge you know nothing, while still articulating what you are learning? In a decade of Martin and Rice and Ferrell,  I find the idea that I am capable of raising a black son unfathomable. We were asked during the adoption process how our community, home and family were suitable to raise an African American child. We had good answers and I thought I knew. But no one mentions closing the blinds when your family is playing with nerf guns just in case a concern citizen mistakes what they see. Or when your 8 year old wakes up and says "I don't want to get shot" after a not guilty ruling in Florida. Or how an innocent comment about how old he looks reminds you of the studies on perceived innocence and race.

I want to be clear. I have no regrets. My son is my son. We share the same stubborn streak, same crazy humor, same deep sense of justice. I am grateful for each time I recognize I am being 'woke',  grateful for others who have already 'woke' and willing to do whatever it takes to be the mommy my beautiful son needs.

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13